As you care for aging parents, they may occasionally exhibit difficult or stubborn behaviors that are difficult to deal with – which is normal and inevitable; however, dealing with behavior which reflects declining mental health can be particularly trying.
If your elderly loved one suddenly starts suddenly shouting outbursts without cause, expressing unwarranted anger, or becoming volatile, this could be an early indicator that they have dementia or Alzheimer’s. Instead of taking these outbursts personally, try understanding why they occur – they may be experiencing the frustration associated with feeling helpless and losing control over their lives.
If your stubborn elderly parents refuse to heed your advice, perhaps involving others might help. Your parents might listen better to a medical professional or close friend than to you directly; alternatively you could suggest they talk with neighbors or siblings they know and trust more directly.
Your parent might seem stubborn at times, so try to understand what’s causing their behaviour. For instance, if they refuse to bathe regularly and it irritates you, realize they may fear falling in the shower or becoming dirty as part of an aging process. Finding ways of empowering them while respecting their dignity and maintaining self-respect are crucial components to successful caregiving.
As it’s also important to choose your battles carefully, repeatedly asking an elderly parent to change their behavior may come across as being annoying and may only add additional stress and anxiety. Instead, focus on issues which threaten their safety such as smoking. If they refuse to stop, explain the risks of second-hand smoke to them as a means of persuading them.
Your other option for persuading your aging parent might involve explaining how their stubbornness affects others. This approach may work effectively as they might become more sympathetic when they realize their refusal of assistance is creating undue stress in other areas of their life – for instance if they refuse to quit smoking you could tell them about how it might exacerbate respiratory conditions in their grandchildren who could benefit.
If your elder parent’s irrational behavior has you feeling overwhelmed, it’s essential that you find healthy outlets for your emotions. Confiding in family, siblings or therapists as well as practicing relaxation techniques like meditation can be beneficial in relieving stress levels and opening the way to productive conversations between yourself and them. Also remembering their actions aren’t personal will also help lower stress levels while strengthening relationships between yourself and them.